From elections to pumps: how to make a country go back on cryptocurrencies Canistracoin (pamphlet)

From elections to pumps: how to make a country go back on cryptocurrencies Canistracoin (pamphlet)

In a country where logic is on a prolonged hiatus and elections have been canceled to "optimize the national budget", here's a new creative solution from the government: invest public funds in cryptocurrencies.

Romania has now put cryptocurrency on the market Canistracoin - following the annulment of the elections.

The reason? "Let's make Romania digital!" declares the Minister of Economy, giving a speech in front of a Bitcoin ATM that probably cost as much as a kilometer of non-existent highway.

Evidently, this brilliant decision came with some other great news: fuel prices are going up.

Not by much, just about 50%.

The official reason? "To discourage pollution and support the green transition".

The real reason? Until the price of the cryptocurrencies we've dumped the pension budget into stabilizes, the government has to get money out of somewhere. And what better place than from the pockets of motorists, those romantics of gridlocked traffic?

And let's not forget the official slogan: "Better a Canistracoin in your pocket than a full tank of diesel!"

In fact, in the Romania of 2024, this is the new unit of measurement of the economy. We're not talking lei or euro.

You go to the gas station and they tell you straight out: "A liter of gas? 0.00002 BTC". You check your digital wallet, only to find that all you've managed to "mine" is a gigabyte of nerves and frustration.

And the citizens? Well, what should they do? Some can be found pedaling frantically on electric bikes, hoping to somehow make up for the lack of a full tank of gas. Others stand in line at gas stations with a 20-liter can, dreaming of a time when a full tank of gas was cheaper than a lunch out. And still others, more enterprising, are already cranking out ridesharing apps on donkeys, rebranding is in full swing: Uber becomes Hoof.

Elon Musk anticipated this move as far back as 2021, not many paid him much attention then.

So, dear Romanians, say goodbye to democracy, affordable fuel and economic logic. The future is digital! And unfortunately, it's walking.

Attention!!! this is a pamphlet and should be treated as such. :)

This pamphlet does not disseminate truthful information, but publishes arbitrary interpretations of events, fictitious information, some possible and some quite improbable.